Hey ya’ll. I hope you rushed back to hear the beginning of my story. Just like any story, it may take some time to get to the good parts but if you stick with me I’m sure you won’t fall asleep… well… maybe not… I don’t know your life.
Chapter 1: The Day My Life Changed… Forever.
Since this entire blog is based on the fact that I am a mother and a stepmother I thought it best that I tell you about my road to becoming the StepMonster. So here we go, I hope your ready to see me laugh and cry, and I do mean ugly cry like that chick on MTV. I might even vomit a few times so stay tuned.
July 3rd, 2009
I was sitting in the sand on Holden Beach, NC watching my nephew jump the waves. My mothers phone rang. It was my aunt who was down in Wilmington for the weekend with my uncle on a business trip. They talked for a few minutes and then I heard my mom shout, “Well what about Mindy!!?” Umm, excuse me? What did I do this time? I’m usually in trouble when those two ladies get to talking. Then my mom asks, “would you want to meet someone?” Uhhh… no. I had just recently rid myself of a someone, I certainly do not need another. “Oh, come on, just meet him, what can it hurt?” Last time I checked it could hurt…a lot. “Well there is one problem. He smokes.” And…”Has a son but I said that wasn’t a problem.” Well I do love kids and you can quit smoking. My sweet mother, and when I say sweet I really mean someone who can guilt you into anything. “Oh I forgot to mention, he’s a Marine.” She’s a good lady, that Momma. “FINE! I’ll meet him, but if I don’t like him it’s ya’lls fault!” “Good. They will be down this afternoon.”
So here I am getting ready and putting my face on. Nervous as all get out. Wait? Why am I nervous and why on earth am I putting makeup on?!? Oh yeah, I’m a girl sometimes. As I’m warming up to the thought of meeting someone new and trusting my aunt that he doesn’t look like the guy from the Goonies, I hear the car pull up and at this point I’m sweating. Why the HELL am I sweating???? I walk out to introduce myself and there he was…
I’m gonna be totally honest here, I wanted to avoid this guy like the plague! At this point, I had some serious issues with facial hair and I am pretty sure he was trying to enter a Tom Selleck look alike contest. After spending all afternoon inconspicuously staring at him from across the room, I decided I’d give him my phone number. I still hadn’t convinced myself I’d ever see him again… or had I?
Tom Selleck, right?
Then there’s this guy! Is he not frikin’ adorable!?
See you next time for The Man and The Monster.
Disclaimer: I’m not a jerk, I’m just written that way.