Category Archives: Attacks on the Family

Where Has Summer Gone?

School is back in and life is finally settling into a happy routine.

This summer was CRAZY!  The next few posts are going to get personal.  In just one summer I went from being a stay at home mom with a blog to a working mom with TWO jobs.  Crazy, right?  Yeah… That’s not even the half of it.

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Franks’ Preschool Graduation

 

I had life down.  At least I thought I did.  I was managing home, kids, husband, dog, and hobbies just fine.  Everything changes.  For 5 years, I have stayed at home with Frank.  It was a shock to my system. legging

The summer started with me jumping on board with a billion dollar clothing company.  I sling ridiculously soft leggings and dresses at online and in home parties.  Yeah… you probably know what I’m talking about.  I was rocking the business.  I was happy having a little extra cash in my pocket.  Then… something happened and what started out as an awesome summer before Frank went off to Kindergarten, blew right up in my face…

Life Brothers

Sometimes you find a friend that sticks around for 5 minutes.  Sometimes you find a friend that will tell you they have your back until you realize they’re the one that stabbed you.  Not often enough in life we find that one friend.  That one that no matter how much time or distance life has put between the two of you, they still manage to be there when you need them the most.

The words United States Marine has entirely different meaning to actual Marines.  We don’t see them like they see each other.  We don’t even understand them.  They are brothers.  Life through some pretty great things at them and then it decided to throw some pretty shitty things at them but no matter the time, place, or distance that band of brothers are there.

My husband and his best friend are those “life brothers”.  Ya know, the kind of brother that your parents didn’t give you but your life did.

A few weeks ago, my husband injured his knee.  It put him out of work and on crutches.  There wasn’t much he could do other than sit around and put a butt dent in my couch.  He sat there forEVER!  As the days went on, he got angry.  Then sad.  Then angry, again.  I was at a loss.  The longer he sits around the quicker the memories take hold of him.  The PTSD was raging a war with my love again and I couldn’t watch it anymore.  I had to do something.

I knew just what to do.  It was spare of the moment but I reached out to his friends wife and she suggested trying to convince him to take a trip to visit them.  It was definitely a doable trip, but getting the husband off the couch was going to be the hard part.

As soon as I mentioned his name, He was ready to go.  That trip was the answer to my prayers.  It was like they hadn’t gone a day without seeing one another.  It actually had been nearly four years.  My husband needed that.  He needed the friend that knew what he was going through.  The one who had been standing beside him during those shitty times.

We are back at home and it is like he’s a new man.  The battery is fully charged again.  He’s happy.  I cannot thank those two enough for inviting us into their home and being there when he was needing them.  You may not think you’ve done anything but this isn’t the first time you’ve saved him.

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“USMC Veterans Day” by PraetoriusLexicus @ DeviantArt

Do You Know They Can See You?

Dealing with an addiction is hard.  I get it.  I totally get it.  It’s a struggle to make it through the day.  Do you know what I think is harder?  Loving someone with an addiction.

Now, let’s be real.  You can be addicted to anything.  Drugs, alcohol, sex… the list goes on and on.  I know when you’re getting high or drunk or whatever it is you think you need that it’s all about you.  You’re just thinking about yourself.  I just need another pill.  I just need 3 more pills.  In that split moment, you’re not thinking about anyone else but the person in the mirror.  What about everyone else?

What about them?  What about that woman or man laying next to you every night?  What about that little voice you hear every  day saying “Mommy”, “Daddy”, “Grandma”, “Grandpa”?  What about the people who have loved you from the first day you stepped into their lives?  Don’t you know they can see you??prescription-plain-300px

The pain that they are feeling is far worse than anything you’ve ever felt.  I’ve birthed a child and it doesn’t even come close to the pain of a broken heart.  Waking up every morning and your heart shattering again.  Labor pain ends.

Nothing I’m saying is going to help.  I know that.  You have to want to put others before yourself.  You have to want to start a new life.  You have to want to separate yourself from the things that have brought you down so far.  The next time you’re sitting there just thinking about yourself.  I hope you hear that little voice telling you how much they love you.

 

**I wrote this mainly for myself.  I am dealing with some things at the moment that I just felt needed to be written. But maybe you’re thinking you’re alone, you’re not.**

 

UnBroken

This one was really difficult for me.  I’ve sat here and stared at this computer screen about all day.  I deleted a whole page earlier.  I’m struggling with the words.  Should I say this?  What happens once they read it?  I’ve decided that none of that matters.  I’m setting my worries aside to tell you something about myself.  No jokes.  No laughs.  This is me.  This is me laying it all out there.  Being real.

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Being a wife and a step mother and a mother all have their own set of issues.  While I’ve struggled with a lot over the last few years nothing comes close to the struggle with depression.  That is a real fight.  Now I’m not telling you any of this for sympathy and I’m not a “woe is me” kind of person but I wanted to share my experiences with you.  The good and the really ugly.

What started out as Post Partum Depression after giving birth to Frank soon snowballed out of control.  I thought I had a pretty good handle on myself.  What I thought had been a minor battle with PPD had evolved into something more since it was lasting well into Franks’ fourth year.  First, you just shake it off.  It’s nothing, it’s just hormones.  For years, I fought with my own head.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  Stop being crazy, Mindy.

Fighting inside my own head soon led to fighting with everyone on the outside.  I was angry all the time.  Nothing or no one could make me happy.  I tend to take a very alternative approach to parenting.  I’m a bit of a hippy but soon I hit a wall.  There I was standing, screaming at this wall with my son holding his ears just on the other side.  That was it.  That was the day I knew I couldn’t do it alone.  I had built up this giant wall and everyone I loved was standing on the other side.  I hit my knees and the wall came crashing down.  I hugged my son so tight I thought he would pop.

I’ve never shared my faith with you because I wanted to connect with everyone.  Not just my Christian friends.  Well the time has come for me to share it.  I wouldn’t have been able to get up off my knees without Christ.  I’m not going to preach to you, that is not my intention, this is just my full experience.  I am not ashamed of the things I have been through and I am not ashamed of the things I’ve had to do to get better.  To get stronger.

The Lord pulled me up off my knees that day when I felt like I could barely move.  I was finally convinced to see a doctor.  I was getting the help I needed.  Slow but surely I was getting better and healthier.  I was waking up in the mornings and I finally wanted to get out of bed.  For months, years even, I dreaded starting a new day.

Having my faith in Christ and my new found faith in myself, I was saved.  Saved from what could have happened.  I was happier and in turn it made my family happier.  Even though it was hard on him, Josh stuck by me.  He was my constant.  My rock.  Ofcourse we disagreed and had our arguments like any other married couple but it was nothing like before.  I had stood by him when he needed me the most and I was fortunate enough to have him return the favor.  I won’t get into that, it’s a story for another day and time.

Being a parent is hard.  Being a wife is hard.  Sometimes just being, is hard!  At the end of the day, you’re gonna struggle.  You’re gonna fall down.  Having someone to help you off your knees is what’s important.  It doesn’t matter if it’s your faith or your family or your friends.  The Lord just decided to yank me by the heart and say “Mindy, I’m still here.”

Moms, Wives, Women.  If you’re struggling with something don’t hide it.  I know it’s hard.  I know what the shame of not being the wife and mother you want to be feels like.  Now Frank is quickly approaching five years old and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

I’ll be sharing a little bit more of my faith and relationship with the Lord later on.  He has also helped me in the step mothering aspect of my life when he introduced me to Hannah, the mother of Samuel.

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If any of you have any comments or concerns please feel free to email me or leave me a note in the comment section.  I’m more than happy to talk with you.