Tag Archives: brothers

Life Brothers

Sometimes you find a friend that sticks around for 5 minutes.  Sometimes you find a friend that will tell you they have your back until you realize they’re the one that stabbed you.  Not often enough in life we find that one friend.  That one that no matter how much time or distance life has put between the two of you, they still manage to be there when you need them the most.

The words United States Marine has entirely different meaning to actual Marines.  We don’t see them like they see each other.  We don’t even understand them.  They are brothers.  Life through some pretty great things at them and then it decided to throw some pretty shitty things at them but no matter the time, place, or distance that band of brothers are there.

My husband and his best friend are those “life brothers”.  Ya know, the kind of brother that your parents didn’t give you but your life did.

A few weeks ago, my husband injured his knee.  It put him out of work and on crutches.  There wasn’t much he could do other than sit around and put a butt dent in my couch.  He sat there forEVER!  As the days went on, he got angry.  Then sad.  Then angry, again.  I was at a loss.  The longer he sits around the quicker the memories take hold of him.  The PTSD was raging a war with my love again and I couldn’t watch it anymore.  I had to do something.

I knew just what to do.  It was spare of the moment but I reached out to his friends wife and she suggested trying to convince him to take a trip to visit them.  It was definitely a doable trip, but getting the husband off the couch was going to be the hard part.

As soon as I mentioned his name, He was ready to go.  That trip was the answer to my prayers.  It was like they hadn’t gone a day without seeing one another.  It actually had been nearly four years.  My husband needed that.  He needed the friend that knew what he was going through.  The one who had been standing beside him during those shitty times.

We are back at home and it is like he’s a new man.  The battery is fully charged again.  He’s happy.  I cannot thank those two enough for inviting us into their home and being there when he was needing them.  You may not think you’ve done anything but this isn’t the first time you’ve saved him.

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“USMC Veterans Day” by PraetoriusLexicus @ DeviantArt

Family Dinner: Episode 1

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Yay!! Success!!  No one yelled or threw food or tried to kill each other.  Okay, that’s a lie… the 2 brothers and sister yelled, threw food, and may have appeared to be killing each other.  All in all it was a great time!

I really enjoyed having some slight adult conversation while the kids occupied each other.  Kim and I chatted while our husbands stuffed their faces with desserts.  We may have done that too but that’s beside the point.  Then we finally had to get down to business.  The issue at hand.

Murph, lately is wanting to act like a teenager girl “that just had her phone taken away.”  Direct quote from Justin (Stepdad).  It’s definitely accurate.  We sat him down and had a nice little heart to heart.  Working together pays off.  The four of us get to express our concerns to each other and we had a great opportunity for all of us to talk specifically to Murph.

Stepping up, swallowing our pride, being bigger people.  I can’t stress enough how taking that first step to actually getting to know one another was the greatest decision we’ve ever made, regarding our family.  Josh and I had dinner with our two best friends last night. 🙂  Weird right?  Who here still thinks I’m a nut??

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He Just Called Her WHAT?!

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As mothers we all know that the feeling we get the first time our child says “Mama” is pretty close to being on top of the world.  I mean… I don’t know what being on top of the world feels like but I’m sure it’s pretty much the same thing.  What about the first time your STEP child calls you “Mama”.  GASP!! 

It could have been accidental.  You know, a slip of the tongue.  He’s just used to that lady around being called “mama”.  Or… maybe it was intentional.  Maybe he knows the one that’s there is keeping him safe and loved, like Mama would.

For several years, Murph would slip.  Every once in a while for a brief moment I was Mama.  “No, Baby.”  I’d say.  “Mimi.”  I had heard “he better not be calling her mom” enough times I was having nightmares about it.  Okay, not really.  However, I always made it a point to make that simple correction.

Until…

Until Murph was four years old and I was the mother of a new baby boy.  Murph loved his little brother so much and as Frank started to grow I could tell they were going to be best buds.  Frank continued to grow and started to speak.  Being “Mama” to someone all the time, every second, every day was an incredible feeling.  All of a sudden, the more time spent with Murph, the less I was Mama to Frank.  Hearing my little boy call me “Mimi” was like a punch to the eye.

That was it.  I never corrected Murph again.  I needed to talk to Kim.  I needed to tell her how I felt and what was happening.  Even as friends, I still get a knot in my stomach when I need to bring up touchy subjects with Mama Bear.  When he is with me, would it be okay if he calls me Mom?  Just until his brother understands our situation.  She told me she was having the same problem with her daughter and the name of “Daddy”.  Boy what a relief that was!  Josh was completely on board with the plan since I had really been struggling with the issue.  From then on I was Mom and Justin was Dad.

We had an understanding.  She knew I would never try to take her place.  I’ve never pushed Murph to call me anything other than what he chose.  I could be Mindy, Mimi, Mom, whatever!  As long as he didn’t call me StepMother cause that just sounds ridiculous and he’s not Cinderella!  Ever since, Murph has officially had two moms and two dads.  Each given the name.

Fast forward and people are in our ears.  “Why do you let him call her Mom?” or “Why do you let him call him Dad?”  The responses are easy and simple.  There is only a difference in who made the child.  There is no difference in the love that the four of us have for Murph.  It’s hard not to love that kid with your whole heart.  I know some of you think the four of us are insane people and that’s okay.  We kinda are.  But!  We know what works for us.

What works for you?  Who are you to your stepchild(ren)?

 

THINGS TO COME!

I’ve been collecting pictures and conversations between Terry and Houston.  I’m gonna go ahead and add that from here on out I will be referring to them as Murph and Frank.

The nickname Frankenstein aka Frank, was given to Houston by my brother when he was a lot smaller.  Have you ever seen Dylan and Cole Sprouse as Julian in “Big Daddy” with Adam Sandler?  If not, GO WATCH IT… LIKE… RIGHT NOW! Anyway… that’s my kid.  In a nutshell… rainboots with shorts, eating 30 packets of ketchup, and peeing wherever he is standing.  That’s my son.  That’s Frank.

Now Murph is a little different… I used to call him T-Rex but as he started growing, bless his little heart.  I hope you know what “Murphy’s Law” is.  If you don’t… I’m sorry and you fail.  Here I give you… Murph.

Here I will be posting ridiculous things these two brothers do together.  Their weird conversations and I hope to get some pretty sweet pictures of some awesome nerf wars.

I’m going to warn you now they ARE boys!  This section is gonna get weird, strange, and probably really, really gross.  So without further delay…

Murph.

MEANDT

 Frank.

FRANK

THE ADVENTURES OF FRANK & MURPH.

 

 

Two Halfs Make A Whole

Let me start by saying that in our family there is no such thing as “half”.  There are no half brothers, half sisters, half of a cake, because… well… we ate it already.

If you’ve been following along you’ll know that “The Birthgiver” and I are great friends.  Another reason that Kim and I understand each other so well is that we were pregnant together.  Imagine being out in public and you and Baby Momma both have giant bellies. *Awkward!* In 2011, Terry received the best of both worlds.  A brother and a sister, just three months apart.

“This is my brother.”  “This is my sister.”  “They’re not brother and sister.”  That is how Terry introduces his siblings.  Kid really knows how to confuse a person.

Being a blended family, in our case, doesn’t mean four parents and the child.  It means four parents and three children.  We are all one family and you’re there for your family.  Always.

Terry and his brother, Houston both have spent a lot of time in the hospital.  Terry has asthma and Houston has asthma and Eosinophilic Esophagitis. (keep trying to say that and I’ll have a post about it later.)  A huge part of our EOE support system are Kim and her husband, Justin.  They’re there for fundraising events.  They buy awareness bracelets and tshirts.  They drive miles from home to pick up Terry at the hospital ER where he’s been waiting for hours by his brothers’ side.  They do all that because they love Terry.  They do all that because they love his brother and our love for Prudence is just as much.  I have to squeeze her in my arms every time I see her.

The happiest I have ever seen Terry are the times he’s with his brother and sister.  Together.  It is important for us to keep them close.  They will be all each other have one day.  Three is way better than two.

terry and pruIf your stepchild has “half” siblings and they have no idea who each other even are, it may be time to change that.  Again, set your feelings aside and do what you can for your family.  Like it or not, you’re all a family, all connected through one little person.  Or a couple little people.  Plan a birthday party for your biochild and invite the others.  Sit together at school and sporting events.  Have a family dinner night.  If you live close enough and could handle it, heck, blend your Christmas!  Ooooo these are good ideas…Kim!!! Can we have family dinner night!?!? 🙂  I know what you’re thinking now, “look, she is giving us this crap and she doesn’t even do those things!”  EEEHHH WRONG!  We do birthday parties together.  We save bleachers for one another at the baseball field.  Guess who even goes to events at Terrys’ school?  Houston and me, that’s who!  A blended Christmas would be awesome if we didn’t live an hour apart!  Santa would be a little late.

hugh and terry.jpgSeeing the three of them laughing together and playing together.  When we pick up or drop Terry off and Prudence darts out the back door to see us or Houston is trying his best to jump out of the car, there is a strong sense of completion.  Your unit is complete.  You now know that the three of them will always have each other.  Regardless of where life takes them, Terry can call up his brother and sister and they will BOTH come running.  Probably in the same car.

Well… that’s if Terry hasn’t knocked them both out a few times by then. 😉  They’re the littles, what do you expect from Big Brother?